Rss

  • google

Archives for : Blog

Alton Sterling

My youngest son stood behind me yesterday as I struggled to comprehend what #AltonSterling did to deserve to die. When I told him that he was just selling music, the look on his face was one of such sweet surprise and sadness that my heart broke again.
 
I can't explain why we are targets. I can't explain why Alton was murdered. I can't explain what recourse we have to ensure that this doesn't happen, because there isn't one.
 
I can't even explain why I hug his sisters and brother so tightly when they leave our house. I can't explain that on any given day, they can be stopped and assaulted or murdered for something that wouldn't even warrant a second glance in most other cultures.
 
I can't explain that. I can't explain that in 2016, 122 black men have been killed by police. That is an average of  17 beautiful minds per month. That is .7 people per day. I can't explain that.
 
All that I know is that I know plenty of folks who sell their music in parking lots every day. I know tons of musicians who are out the trunk artists. And I know that no one deserves to die for that.
 
My heart is broken again. And I can't really explain why.
 
Rest in power, Alton.
 
Your life mattered.
 
#BlackLivesMatter

Open the Gates of Justice for People of Color

By Rashanii

 

http://www.mediaite.com/online/breaking-no-indictment-in-death-of-sandra-bland/

A quote from the article:

"A prosecutor in Hempstead, Texas has announced that a grand jury has refused to issue indictments in the jailhouse death of Sandra Bland in July of this year."

 

I think that the word that offends me most in this is "refused".

Definition of refused:

1. Indicate or show that one is not willing to do something.

2. Indicate that one is not willing to accept or grant.

3. Fail to perform a required action.

When a grand jury refuses to see any wrongdoing, that means that it was there, and they were not willing to accept it. To me, this is unconscionable, because a grand jury’s job is to be the gatekeeper to justice. Without their say so, trials cannot proceed, and without those trials, many people who seek justice will never find it.

It has been documented before that grand juries rarely fail to indict. In an article for Reason.com, Anthony L. Fisher stated that in 2010, grand juries were presented 162,000 federal cases, and only declined to return an indictment for 11 of them. (https://reason.com/blog/2014/11/25/grand-juries-almost-never-fail-to-indict#.oyoe6eq:ZGp1)

That’s 0.0067901 percent of cases presented. That is less than one percent. Yet by and large, the indictments for cases involving people of color keep falling through the cracks.

Darren Wilson, the officer who murdered Michael Brown? No indictment.

Dante Servin, the officer who murdered Rekia Boyd? No indictment.

Michael Traudt, the officer who murdered Paul Castaway? No indictment

Daniel Pantaleo, the officer who murdered Eric Garner? No indictment.

Roger Worley and Braheme Days, the officers who murdered Jerame Reid? No indictment.

And now, the officers at Waller County Jail, who murdered Sandra Bland walk away with no repercussions. Hopefully, in January, the gatekeepers will be willing to give her grieving family access to the justice that they guard.

But I won't hold my breath. The odds, while they statistically should be in our favor, clearly show to never bet on black.

Or brown.

Or any other color than blue.

 

Myself

I love my wife more than I love myself.

I'm sure plenty of spouses say that all of the time, and the vast majority of the time, they mean it.

However, I mean it wholeheartedly. I love my wife more than I love myself, and I know that because for a very long time, I loved anyone more than I loved myself.

It didn't matter if you were family, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger, I would do whatever I could to show you love.

Whether that was giving time, money, or food and drink, I would do it gladly, because I didn't love me, but you could love me if I worked hard enough, and through your approval I might find

Just a little for myself. The leftovers.

But as I think about the people that I met, I also am struck by the rejections that came with them, and each one sent me spiraling into a place devoid of hope, devoid of light.

Devoid of love.

I think I never really have gotten to a point where I can look in a mirror and say I love myself. I still struggle with the idea of accepting me for who I am on a daily basis.

But I have come to realize that I can never seek that love in others, because to seek it out takes so much work, so much effort, that quite often, I push the throttle beyond what is acceptable, and run the other party off.

I hate myself a lot.

But I stay busy so that I don't think about it. I try to stay one step ahead of my thoughts so that I cannot get the opportunity to knock myself down again. I have been put down by too many other people to allow me to be the final nail.

My salvation is in my family. I can look at them and know that they love me through my good times and my bad, and I am grateful for that, because when I have nothing left for myself, my family always gives me more.

But I don't want to take anymore. I want to fill myself.

But I don't know how.

I love my wife and kids more than anything. But I can't love myself.

 

#NationalPoetryMonth – IJS

I’m not

crazy

Or retarded

Or dumb

Or special

I’m not

Having a case of the Mondays

On a Friday

I’m not

Bummed out

Looking for attention

Having a bad day

Anti-social

I am

A survivor of mental illness

And I could use your help.

 

#NationalPoetryMonth – Losing Weight

Losing Weight

 

Looked in the mirror today

to discover that I had lost weight.

My smile seemed more genuine,

And I looked more confident in my body.

I had worked hard to get to this point,

Exercising every day to excise

The weight of other people’s expectations,

The weight of self judgement,

Self-doubt.

The weight of wondering if people were talking about me

or ABOUT me.

The weight of measuring up

To people who never wanted to be measured in the first place.

I’m still exercising,

And I have cheat days every so often.

But I’m losing weight

And I’m trying hard not to go back.

#NationalPoetryMonth – Flight

Here is my poetry for the day. No filter, no stopping, just a free form poem.

 

Flight

 

I flew

Out of my body

Without a destination

And I was able to see me

A black man

Big eyes

Big lips

Balding

Wearing jeans that sagged

And a red shirt

Must be affiliated

Why is he so hostile

Scares white people

Is that what they see?

I flew

Back into my body

And I was able to feel

A black man

Sees hurt

Speaks out on issues

Hair rubbed thin from worrying about kids

Wearing jeans that are too big because he lost weight

But can’t afford to buy new ones because he spends all of his money

On

Weed?

Guns?

Alcohol?

Spends all of his money on his youth basketball teams.

One of the good ones?

Just one of many.

#NationalPoetryMonth – I Thought

Kai Love from The Pisces Life podcast just reminded me that this is National Poetry Month. There are some kids at my children's school who have been writing poetry every day, and I promised them that I would start again. Here is my poetry for the day. No filter, no stopping, just a free form poem.

 

I Thought

 

I thought

That if people saw me

For what I really was

They would shun me

Run from me

Mock me

Make me feel small

But what actually happened is

As I made myself into what others wanted me to be

I shunned me

Ran from me

Mocked me

And made myself feel small

So now I live with myself

And love myself

And ignore the outside.

#BlackPodcastWeek Day 4: Social Justice & Relationships

As many of you know, I am a man of many hobbies. One of which, podcasting, is very dear to my heart. I've been podcasting for seven years now in different forms and fashions, and as I see a lot of my friends on Facebook discussing their musical ventures and adventures, I feel energized by the love that the general public is giving them. It is all well deserved, by the way, and they likely deserve 10 times more than what they are receiving. Just like podcasters.

This week is #BlackPodcastWeek. It is a time where we are able to get more shows out to the public than you may be aware of. For each day, there is a different theme. Monday was Underrated podcasts, Tuesday was Black gamer/nerd & Storytelling podcasts, Wednesday was Black News and Comedy Podcasts, and today is Black Relationship and Social Justice Podcasts. I'd really appreciate it if these shows were shared among those who have listened to shows, those who like radio and are looking for something different, and those who just know me as a stand up dude who just wants to show love.

As with every other day, there may be some repeats, but I find that many shows cover many different genres, so here we go. As always, these can all be found by searching on Google.

Americans United Again​, The Pennymon Doctrine​, The FMA Show​, The Ferguson Response Network ft Leslie​, This Week in Blackness​, Right To R.E.A.L. Love ft Jay​, The Swirl World​, Straight Outta Lo Cash​, The Interracial Jawn, The Onyx Truth​, The Spann Report ft Mr. Spann​, They Met Online, Black Is Magazine and Insanity Check.

I'm positive that there are more out there, I've blanked on six already writing this group. Please put the ones that you listen to into the comments field, so we can all partake. Thank you!

#BlackPodcastWeek Day 3: The Funny and the Informed

As many of you know, I am a man of many hobbies. One of which, podcasting, is very dear to my heart. I've been podcasting for seven years now in different forms and fashions, and as I see a lot of my friends on Facebook discussing their musical ventures and adventures, I feel energized by the love that the general public is giving them. It is all well deserved, by the way, and they likely deserve 10 times more than what they are receiving. Just like podcasters.

This week is ‪#BlackPodcastWeek. It is a time where we are able to get more shows out to the public than you may be aware of. For each day, there is a different theme. Monday was Underrated podcasts, Tuesday was Black gamer/nerd & Storytelling podcasts, and today is Black News and Comedy Podcasts. I'd really appreciate it if these shows were shared among those who have listened to shows, those who like radio and are looking for something different, and those who just know me as a stand up dude who just wants to show love.

I know that far and away, the first type of podcast that people think of when they think about podcasts overall are either News based or Comedy. These two tend to go hand in hand because people need to be informed just as much as people need to laugh. People tend to want to laugh at the news, as well, so a host of comedic podcasts are also news podcasts. Therefore, if I mention a show today, just know that they are either funny, informative, or both. And I may mention shows that I have spoken of before, but that is simply because they fall into one of the two categories.

TWIB (This Week In Blackness, for the unitiated, hosted by Elon James White), The Americans United Again​ podcast, Ferguson Response Network, Father Teresa's Wine Cellar News​, Black Is Magazine​, The Pennymon Doctrine​, Political News and Views, Mr. Moody's Neighborhood feat. Tha' 50/50 Brotha's & Dj....​ , 20 Minutes Podcast​, Right To R.E.A.L Love with Jay Mayo​ and The Onyx Truth​ all bring hard hitting news from the perspective of young Black America. They pull no punches with their insights, but they will leave you with more knowledge regarding any situation they look into. Black Is Magazine is a group of friends and family who sit down and really investigate problems that confront not just Black America, but just the public as a whole. William​, bka Father Teresa, and Phoenix​, bka Pheenie Loco confronts issues with law enforcement, discrimination of both gender and race, Lgtbqia matters and issues and a host of other topics in a hard hitting, honest way that will simultaneously astound and amuse you. While his show may ruffle your feathers at some point, the information that he is conveying to you will either make you grow into a better person, or will make you tell the next person what you just heard, which will begin a discussion which will make you a better person.

Ricky​ and Cherelle​ host Americans United Again, which looks into the world of politics and government in a way that all ages will appreciate and understand. They are far and away my first choice for any political information, and I have yet to come away from an episode without learning something new. They are also very engaging and entertaining. A great listen overall.

John​ and Molly​ are two of the best people to work together on a podcast ever. They host The Pennymon Doctrine​, and while John gets fired up about EVERYTHING, he has a way of conveying information to you that has NO gray areas, which is what is needed. His honesty is in the forefront at all times, and you will be informed and entertained for the entire show. Molly is a truly wonderful co-host who is able to bring a calmer approach to the views and news that they are discussing, and is often able to bring the information to the masses in a way that leaves you looking for one more thought.

I'm not going to go into detail on the comedy podcasts, because they are legion. I swear, Black Podcasting has some of the best comedy around. Whether you are listening to The Ink​ or Where's My 40 Acres?​, you are going to end up in tears from laughing so hard. Therefore, I'm just going to say that you cannot go wrong with any of the shows that I am going to mention. The Black Guy Who Tips, FoGetDatYo, The Pisces Life​, Single Simulcast​, The Dr3am Team​, Off The Rails, The Shiznit Show​, Whiskey, Wine and Moonshine​, The Interracial Jawn Podcast, The Cold Slither Podcast Network​, Hey, You Know It, Stays Krunchy In Milk​, The In Deep Show​, The Blackanese Chick Podcast, The Read, What's the Tea, Chonilla​, The Combat Jack Show, Straight Outta Lo Cash​, My Truth: Straight Talk No Chaser​, The Evening Jones with Bomani Jones​, The Good and Terrible Show, The Ratchet Hatchet, Fiyastarter.com, The Bad Advice Show, and Eclectik Relaxation​.

There are many more that I'm sure I missed, and I hope that you will post them in the comments below. As always, all of these shows can be found by looking them up on Google.

#BlackPodcastWeek – Day 2: Games, Geeks and Grios

As many of you know, I am a man of many hobbies. One of which, podcasting, is very dear to my heart. I've been podcasting for seven years now in different forms and fashions, and as I see a lot of my friends on Facebook discussing their musical ventures and adventures, I feel energized by the love that the general public is giving them. It is all well deserved, by the way, and they likely deserve 10 times more than what they are receiving. Just like podcasters.

This week is ‪#‎BlackPodcastWeek‬. It is a time where we are able to get more shows out to the public than you may be aware of. For each day, there is a different theme. Yesterday was Underrated podcasts, and today is Black gamer/nerd & Storytelling podcasts.

There are a ton of great Gaming podcasts out there, and a ton of great podcasts by great thinkers who will leave you agape. I hope that you will take time out to listen to some of these shows that I am going to share with you, and that you will share them with others.

Spawn On Me Podcast, Scarcasm Live with Michael CorbinOperation CubicleJust Thinkin' Out Loud MediaGaming And Then Some Podcast, The Grand Shuckett Podcast, GameEnthus Podcast Community, Geeks With Color and Sin and SolaceThe Nerd Off  is a premium show, so you have to go to The Black Guy Who Tips website to sign up for it.

I'm overly confident that there are more, and I want to know about them. If you have a black podcast about video games or that is based out of a blerd aspect, or if you are a storyteller, please include them in the comments below. I think we will all be quite pleased at what we can find. The shows above can all be found through many different avenues, but the easiest way to find them is to just type their names into Google.

I'll be back tomorrow with the next installment: Black News and Comedy Podcasts.

11050656_1586458854935477_8216627598521783246_n